Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize