You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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