the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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