So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize