Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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