Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
