Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
