Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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