She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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