What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize