i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
