That's when you crack a 10am beer
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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