Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
