I don't think brook has ever known best
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
