Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
