she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
