I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
