I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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