I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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