He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
