Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
