Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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