I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
