During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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