after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
