I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
