I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
is wine microwaveable?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
