Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
