is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
