I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
