Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
