I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
