Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
