she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
