After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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