I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize