the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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