Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
