Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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