she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
