when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize