what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
