guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
