I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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