And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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