the new term for farting is butt boxing.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
