do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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