dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
