So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
