Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
