oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
