Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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