white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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