chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
