Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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