The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
