It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
