you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
