Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
