Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Can we have unprotected sex soon?

(270): View more from Kentucky

Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner

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(614): View more from Ohio

You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.

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(925): View more from California

I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs

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(516): View more from New York

On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?

(201): View more from New Jersey

Strong 6

(516): View more from New York

That's an oxymoron.

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(434): View more from Virginia

Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...

(434): View more from Virginia

I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?

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(714): View more from California

Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life

(714): View more from California

It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me

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(650): View more from California

now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight

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