You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
