You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
