no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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