she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
